If you need one reason to watch this movie I can sum that reason up for you in 5 words: “Gene Simmons plays a Hermaphrodite.”
Yes, that is right, Gene Simmons, lead singer of KISS, star of the reality series “Gene Simmons Family Jewels,” apparently Mr. Simmons decided to take on the challenging roll of the notorious Velvet Von Ragner, the cross dressing, dagger press on nail weapon touting arch villain, who leads a gang of dune buggy riding, Mohawk sporting thugs who seek out a floppy disk (this is 1986 people) that will let them “poison the city water supply…forever.”
I for one found it refreshing to finally see this movie character minority, the lonesome Hermaphrodite, finally give their screen time. If it wasn’t for this role or Jamie Lee Curtis, these individuals would go on neglected in Hollywood for most of this and the past century, but on to the rest of the movie.
Drew Stargrove, played by the one and done James Bond, George Lazenby, is a super spy and Ragner’s arch enemy who has the elusive disk that will bring down the water supply, but being that he is a super spy, he has cleverly sent this disk off to him unsuspecting son, and star college gymnast, Lance Stargrove. By the way did I mention I love the name Stargrove, and the opening credits song that goes with Lance’s gymnastic routine that brings us into the movie as well as introducing us to Stamos’ ability to do flips on a trampoline. Lance is already a self made college man, who likes spy gadgets his roommate Cliff, designs for him to help him cheat on tests, from what I can tell anyway.
After Lance learns of his father’s death he gets sucked into the world of espionage by dad’s partner Danja, sort of a B-movie Rae Dawn Chong, but hotter. After a shoot out at a farm Lance has inherited he is determined to bring down the man/woman who killed his father. Ragner, who apparently has resurfaced after years of hiding, now performs nightly at a typical local LA club called “The Incinerator” where you can drive your motorcycle right in the front door, down the elevator and into the bar. So, 80’s LA. This is where Lance confronts his father’s nemesis and points him on the path to completing his hero’s journey.
There are some very amusing action sequences throughout this movie, from the mace and axe wielding goons on motorcycles and the trucker wearing head phones and drinking a fifth of someone to the Stamos gun fight and bitch slapping toe to toe with Simmons. As well as a strange but hilarious seduction scene where Danja removes more and more clothing until she’s topless hosing herself down as Lance keeps going inside of a Perrier, an apple and another piece of fruit until finally catching on.
Will this be a movie you’ll watch to discuss the craft of storytelling, probably not, but if you enjoy 80’s action movies, where the shoulder pads were gigantic and everyone’s hair was nine inches above their heads this is definitely a fun time to watch with some friends.
The sound quality of the DVD is fantastic and the picture quality is fine, it has that 80’s look like a “Gotcha” or “Trenchcoat,” and not to mention actors who really defined the time. There’s even a Robert Englund sighting as one of Ragner’s cronies. But your reason for watching this movie will be the same as mine, John Stamos: action hero. What else can I tell you, except to leave you with the definitive Stargrove, what would most likely have been a catch phrase, line: “If you’d excuse me I don’t have a lot of time, I’ve got to go save the world.” Ah, what could have been.
(Written by M. Walksi)
Buy the DVD from here
I for one found it refreshing to finally see this movie character minority, the lonesome Hermaphrodite, finally give their screen time. If it wasn’t for this role or Jamie Lee Curtis, these individuals would go on neglected in Hollywood for most of this and the past century, but on to the rest of the movie.
Drew Stargrove, played by the one and done James Bond, George Lazenby, is a super spy and Ragner’s arch enemy who has the elusive disk that will bring down the water supply, but being that he is a super spy, he has cleverly sent this disk off to him unsuspecting son, and star college gymnast, Lance Stargrove. By the way did I mention I love the name Stargrove, and the opening credits song that goes with Lance’s gymnastic routine that brings us into the movie as well as introducing us to Stamos’ ability to do flips on a trampoline. Lance is already a self made college man, who likes spy gadgets his roommate Cliff, designs for him to help him cheat on tests, from what I can tell anyway.
After Lance learns of his father’s death he gets sucked into the world of espionage by dad’s partner Danja, sort of a B-movie Rae Dawn Chong, but hotter. After a shoot out at a farm Lance has inherited he is determined to bring down the man/woman who killed his father. Ragner, who apparently has resurfaced after years of hiding, now performs nightly at a typical local LA club called “The Incinerator” where you can drive your motorcycle right in the front door, down the elevator and into the bar. So, 80’s LA. This is where Lance confronts his father’s nemesis and points him on the path to completing his hero’s journey.
There are some very amusing action sequences throughout this movie, from the mace and axe wielding goons on motorcycles and the trucker wearing head phones and drinking a fifth of someone to the Stamos gun fight and bitch slapping toe to toe with Simmons. As well as a strange but hilarious seduction scene where Danja removes more and more clothing until she’s topless hosing herself down as Lance keeps going inside of a Perrier, an apple and another piece of fruit until finally catching on.
Will this be a movie you’ll watch to discuss the craft of storytelling, probably not, but if you enjoy 80’s action movies, where the shoulder pads were gigantic and everyone’s hair was nine inches above their heads this is definitely a fun time to watch with some friends.
The sound quality of the DVD is fantastic and the picture quality is fine, it has that 80’s look like a “Gotcha” or “Trenchcoat,” and not to mention actors who really defined the time. There’s even a Robert Englund sighting as one of Ragner’s cronies. But your reason for watching this movie will be the same as mine, John Stamos: action hero. What else can I tell you, except to leave you with the definitive Stargrove, what would most likely have been a catch phrase, line: “If you’d excuse me I don’t have a lot of time, I’ve got to go save the world.” Ah, what could have been.
(Written by M. Walksi)
Buy the DVD from here
